Isolation
by Silvermane177
Summary: ShuMako Week 2019 Day 3: Distance. Akira reflects on his loneliness in his cell, yearning for any sort of contact with the outside world and the ones who mean so much to him.


Akira Kurusu stared up blankly at the ceiling of his cell.

It wasn't all that late, but the young man had nothing to do.

The day had been tedious, working with Sae on differing legal matters regarding Shido's case and his testimony. It was slow going. Shido himself was confessing to all sorts of things, but the many MANY co-conspirators around him were bogging things down, roadblocking certain motions, pressuring varying prosecutors, manipulating things behind the scenes. Akira wanted to trust the older Niijima to pursue things with the cold calculating efficiency he knew she was capable of, but the enemy was so formless, so powerful, he couldn't help but harbor the occasional doubt. It was a lot more complicated than just shooting a god in the face.

Still, he reminded himself of things he DID still have power over. He still could study, educational materials were available to him through the prison's library. He could still exercise, within his cell and occasionally allowed an hour in the gym. He could still take care of himself. He could still work on his testimony, perfecting his words to make them as efficient and truthful as possible. He could still give himself adequate sleep.

He could still dream of Makoto.

Sighing, he turned himself onto his side. It wasn't just her he missed. He thought of Ryuji whenever he worked out. He thought of Ann and Haru whenever he groomed, keeping himself presentable even in incarceration. He thought of Yusuke whenever he got to go outside and enjoy the view of the outdoors in the courtyard. He thought of Morgana whenever he willed himself to bed early.

He missed them all. He hoped to see them again. Even though the loss of Morgana still stung, Akira still held that desire.

But the desire to see Makoto burned just a little stronger.

It didn't help matters that he worked with her sister daily, and Sae held that same amazing fire in her eyes. Both Niijima sisters were so intense, so brilliant, and Akira kept finding himself distracted by the focused gaze Sae had when reviewing documents, or the ferocity when confronting a suspected co-conspirator. Those hard, piercing eyes drew him in and filled his thoughts of his Queen.

He wanted to hold her again, wanted to tell her everything he should have on Christmas Eve, wanted to get out of his cell and close the gap between him and her. The absence of communication between him and her just left way too much for his imagination.

Was she upset? Was she heartbroken? Did she even care? Are they even still together after what he did?

The little worms of doubt buried deep into his mind, unrelenting. Akira always managed to keep cool about many things, but this was starting to get to him. Which wasn't good, given how focused he needed to be for his testimony. Everyone needed him to keep it together, the pressure was immense. Letting out a sigh and bracing for the intrusive thoughts to surface once more, Akira tried to get some sleep in the dark silence of his cell.

* * *

The next day gave him an unexpected reprieve.

During a session, Sae handed him a file he saw her slip something into.

"Kurusu-kun. Please review this information." She said professionally. Thinking it would be another dry legal document, Akira flipped it open and was greeted with a small handwritten note sprawled with Makoto's handwriting. His eyes went wide for a moment but he regained his composure, glancing over to verify that the other lawyers weren't paying attention and had their noses buried in their own papers.

Greedily, his eyes drank it in.

 _Akira,_

 _I understand that you're having a rough time of it all, going through this alone._

 _Lonely as it may be, all of us are with you on this. We support you, hoping for_

 _our dear friend to return to us once again. However long that may take. It's_

 _very different without you, but everyone's managing alright. We are all of us_

 _eventually hoping to vindicate you, working towards overturning the verdict_

 _you've been unfairly saddled with. There is plenty of support for your cause,_

 _of course. You've touched the lives of so many. Hang in there, Akira, and_

 _understand that all of us are behind you and rooting for your return to us._

 _-Makoto_

Akira tried to keep his heartrate down as he read, a smirk spreading across his face as he caught the little hidden message Makoto snuck in with the first letter of each line. He idly wondered if Sae caught it, but gauged she hadn't. He wasn't reduced to a pile of cinders from her glare, after all.

"Did you get it all?" The older Niijima asked. Akira's mind raced for an appropriate response.

"Understood. Two times over." He replied with a cocky grin. He could only hope his short "U2" reached Makoto's ears through her sister.

With renewed vigor, Akira faced the meetings, interrogations, interviews, and hearings. All the nagging doubts and fears evaporated. He felt invincible again. Untouchable. He had the support of his friends, the efforts of his team, and the love of a remarkable woman. If their feelings were able to reach him even in his current state, it didn't matter how far away from them he was or how long it'd take to pull out a win.

After he was victorious, he'd reunite with them all. And with her.

* * *

(A/N: Not my strongest submission, but still worth the practice to dabble in some darker thoughts and reflections. The details of Akira's confinement have always been lacking I felt, whether he was in isolation, mingled with other inmates, was allowed visitors or letters, etc. Given the severity of the prosecution, I thought it likely that Sae would keep him nearly quarantined, not only for his safety but for the purity of his testimony to ensure no one could reasonably claim he was being lead or manipulated. I'm having a lot of fun with ShuMako week, I hope you guys are too!)


End file.
